“I’m a hugger!”
I’ve said that out loud, without shame, but after seeing some online references suggesting that President Biden is a pedophile or a pervert, I began to reflect on my own behavior. Cyndi and I were talking about it a few days ago. I said, “I’m the same way! I’m always hugging people and touching people”. She said, “I know”. (not in an accusing sort of way, just a fact)
My mother was the same. We could never leave the house without my mother shouting, “Give me a hug before you go!” It surprises me to realize how much of my parents are in me… but I’m getting off track.
My reason for writing is to publicly apologize for being “that guy”. The one who walks up behind you and rubs your shoulders. The hand placed lower on your back than you expected. The guy who comes in for a hug without giving you a chance to evade it. I know I act on my own impulses without considering your feelings.
I’m sorry,
and I will do better.
-=< O >=-
Jack, I’ve never thought of you as “that guy” – ever. You are NOT the kind of guy that is in question when people are talking about touchy-feely-perhaps-crossing-boundaries types of folks. You’re not a boundary crosser. While I love when people give good long hugs and rub my shoulders when they pass by, I do NOT like the idea of a guy who puts his arm around my waist a little too much or too low down my back, especially if it’s someone I don’t know well. You don’t do that stuff. You have good sense; good boundaries. Perhaps you’re pairing yourself too closely with types that go beyond what you do. While I voted for Biden and can’t stand Trump, videos of Biden doing that stuff make me uncomfortable. I’m not sure if he’s truly innocently being sweet in is own mind or if he’s crossing a line and trying to make it work in public; all I know is I’m uncomfortable watching. You are so far from that category that in reading your post, it just doesn’t line up. It’s nice that you’re being compassionate and evaluating yourself, but you’re just not “that guy.” Maybe there’s some news I need to go watch, as I’ve been out of the news loop awhile, but even so, everything I just said is equally valid whether there is news I need to see or not. What you are is warm; decent; not an ice wall; not stoic; not removed; not withdrawn. Warmth and touch are as human as it gets, and no boundaries need be crossed when being warm and having appropriate human connection. You’re all good.
No shame in expressing compassion for another person. The world needs more hugging, and I am glad to know you, like me, are still able to hug freely coming straight from the heart and not with any conditions or expectations attached. Stay true to yourself…keep on keepin’ on with the hugs.
Amen!
I am a hugger too Jack. I do understand (tho barely) that some people are not huggers and don’t like to be hugged… so I will NOT apologize for who I am…. or HOW I am… what I will do, is ASK First…. “Can I give you a hug” and see how that goes… That being said.. .most huggers have hugger friends… but I do have a couple that would rather not… we need to keep our friend base well rounded these days.. LOL — Whenever I see you, Jack, OR Cindy, you may Hug me! (As long as I can Hug you). I may steal this topic soon for my blog. 😉